Publish Insights 31 July 2021
The following humor may be too soon for some. This article addresses the reaction to the rollout of coronavirus vaccines. Some facts may be exaggerated for the sake of amusement.
Vaccine After Effects
In the face of naysayers, against all odds, biopharmaceutical companies are manufacturing vaccines to combat COVID-19 in record time. Working seven days a week with billions of dollars of funding, vaccinations are now available for the vast population of Karens who cannot comply with mask wearing and social distancing.
With vigilance, protestors have risked infection and their very lives for this cause. Now that vaccines are available, they don’t want them.
Some people don’t like needles. Others take the opportunity to rally around a new conspiracy theory. Like Frank Bigelow in the 1950 classic film noir D.O.A. there is a fear that what’s in the vial will kill us.
Initial vaccines required two doses. The first one primes our immune system and the second one takes us in the back alley and works us over.
The resulting delirium from fever and gut-wrenching body aches can make you fear your government is practicing genocide.
The CDC says that people with COVID vaccinations can experiment with their lives by not wearing masks. How’s that going for ya? You now have permission to become a petri dish. Let someone cough on you, unmasked, in public.
How do you tell who’s been vaccinated? It’s basically the honor system. “Did you just cough the coronavirus on me?” “No, I’ve been vaccinated.” “Oh, in that case – we’re good.” If you want proof, ask to see the vaccination card.
Our driver’s license has a photo, thumbprint, signature, and hologram. But for a death-dealing virus, nurses hand out a small black-and-white paper card with your name and date handwritten on it. That makes me feel safer.
Without exercise, you probably won’t emerge from two years of GrubHub dining weighing 30 pounds lighter than you were before the pandemic began.
For motivation to walk around the block, some people get a small dog. The problem with your miniature dachshund is that you see it as a vehicle for exercise while a roaming pit bull sees lunch.
Cheer up. After your vaccine builds up your immune system, you should be able to tolerate the bite of rabid dogs without infection. So your dachshund will want to leash and walk you around the block for protection.
Main photo by Alena Shekhovtcova from Pexels.
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