Publish 11 May 2021
By Dr Bilal Zafar
The Art of Love
May is Mental Health Awareness Month.
Your heart is a canvas and love is the masterpiece. Producing this work of art requires skill to blend beautiful emotions. It takes time and energy for two people to get to know each other. External beauty can be an alluring veil for many sins. And a loving heart can compensate for many shortcomings.
Here’s a question for you. With whom would you prefer a relationship? An attractive face on a person that behaves irresponsibly or someone with pretty eyes who stalks you? Neither one is ideal.
Loyalty and devotion are important. You long for somebody who makes you feel special and takes care of you. But, this devotion sometimes develops into an obsession that you might not recognize. Love and obsession are two of the most confused feelings. One is a healthy emotion. The other is a toxic mental health issue.
It can be difficult to tell if you are in love or are obsessed with someone. It is similarly challenging to tell if somebody truly loves you or has an obsession. Are you in a relationship but confused about its status? This article highlights three major indications that distinguish love versus obsession. Let’s begin.
1. Fast-Pace Relationship
A partner with an obsession rapidly takes a relationship from acquaintance to devotion. Your mate masquerades emotions of anxiety and fright as love. A constant fear of losing you spurs actions to make sure you stay together. Requests for commitment, cohabitation, and constant reassurance of love come at a fast pace.
2. Unbalanced Over-Communication
Communication is the key to a healthy relationship. Too much communication can be a sign of trouble. Many psychologists and therapists say that an obsessed partner contacts you 24/7.
An obsessive person wants to know where you are, without respect for individual space. Their volume of calls, texts, emails, or social media posts overshadow contacts that you initiate.
The biggest sign of obsession is that your partner can’t start and end a day without talking to you. They phone over and over until you answer, no matter how busy you are. They say it is because of their concern and care for you, when it really feeds their own insecurities.
3. Lack of Complete Support
In a healthy relationship people love to see individual growth in each other. Someone with an obsession for you opposes your personal growth or prosperity.
For instance, if you receive a promotion at work, your obsessed partner is not happy. There is fear that now you’ll be busier and won’t be able to make time for them. Your mate exhibits jealousy when you spend time with other friends or family. You can feel smothered or constrained.
Don’t Wreck Love
An obsession is like a race car accelerating in a museum towards a priceless painting. If your partner exhibits obsessive behavior, pump the brakes and unfasten your seatbelts. Try to exit as safely as possible before colliding with emotional airbags.
A masterpiece is not created overnight. It takes time to stretch the canvas, choose a color pallet, compose, light, and paint the subject. For your masterpiece of true love, put forth similar effort. Then you and others will admire your healthy relationship as a work of art.
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Guest-author Dr. Bilal Zafar is a Certified Medical Practitioner and a Resident Psychiatrist.