Publish Novellas 26 December 2021
EPISODE 1 – ADOLESCENCE
In this coming-of-age drama, a girl chooses sexual orientation by circumstance, but must determine if it is the right decision.
⚠️ Reader Discretion: Mature dialogue extended version.
Many youths face gender orientation issues during adolescence. Experimentation can lead to a gay lifestyle. It may last a few months, several years, or a lifetime. Annabel is one woman living such a life who now feels she is actually straight. How have circumstance affected her decisions?
As an adult, thinking about how it began takes her mind back in time to high school. Like most adolescent girls, she has a group of female friends. They study together, shop, play sports, gossip, go to parties, watch movies, and enjoy sleepovers. During these activities, there is physical contact. They embrace for comfort and practice dance moves with each other.
With an interest in boys, Annabel wears faddish outfits and tries various hairstyles. Always wanting to be prepared for the moment when a boy asks her out, she practices slow dancing with her girlfriends.
Curious what a boy kiss feels like, Annabel seeks guidance from experienced friend. She learns from Ruth about the art of kissing.
“During the kissing game at our last slumber party, your kisses felt different from the other girls. Can you help me understand the differences?”
“The innocent peck is the type you give to your grandmother,” she says. “Line your lips up with two fingers and press tightly.”
Annabel then asks, “How will a boy know that I am a good kisser?”
“A good kiss leaves the other person wanting more. Your lips should be supple and you exert less pressure. Either slide them side to side or rhythmically tighten as though gently biting with your lips,” Ruth explains.
“When do I use my tongue? Do I open my mouth wide and wait for his or is he expecting me to fill his mouth with mine?”
“Not everyone likes tongue. It can be sensual. So my advice is less is more.”
More confused now, Annabel asks, “Less than what? How do I practice?”
Ruth offers to educate her, “I taught you how to slow dance. I can teach you this under two conditions.”
“Okay, what are they?”
“One, you have to close your eyes and imagine that I am a boy. Two, you can’t tell people that we kissed alone. It’s just practice.”
“Of course, it’s practice! Pinky swear.”
“If a first date is really bad, don’t kiss him. Get back into your house quickly. That will convey the message. If you are satisfied with the guy on the date, a courtesy peck is sufficient. He can work up to the next stage.
“If you like him, give him a reason to call you again with a moist kiss and a little rhythm but no tongue.
“When you’re making out with your boyfriend, occasionally run your tongue along the inside of his lips. He may alternate with you.”
“That’s a lot to keep track of. Can you demonstrate?”
“I’m not sure how to do all of this with with a girl. During make-out kisses with tongue, a boy may escalate the situation by massaging my body. The tongue is unspoken permission for more liberties. Don’t look at me or all you get is a peck.”
Eager to learn, Annabel closes her eyes, relaxes her lips, and leans towards Ruth as they both sit on her bed. “Okay, I’m not looking. Let’s go through them. First, the peck…. Now, soft lips…. Much better.”
“If you really like someone, you might feel tingling during that second kiss. Do you want to stop here?”
“That was similar to what you did at the slumber party. But I didn’t feel tingling. Maybe it should be longer with that rhythm you talked about. Tell me what I’m doing wrong.”
During a longer kiss, Ruth begins running her tongue along the inside of Annabel’s lips. She moans in response to the tingle. Ruth begins gently massaging Annabel’s midsection. Getting caught up in the moment, Annabel lays back on the bed.
Ruth, now also horizontal, asks, “Did you feel a tingle?”
“Yes, that was nice! Did I do it right?”
“You did it that time, Annabel! I was tingling too. But I thought it was only supposed to happen with boys.”
“If I was with a boy, what would happen next?”
“That depends on how much you like him and how far you are willing to go.”
“I’m curious what happens after the tingle.”
“Make someone tingle when you are ready for sex. He will get more forceful and you may not be able restrain yourself. So hold back your most passionate kiss until you are really serious with someone.”
“But you just said that I made you tingle.”
“You need to be careful with boys or you might get a reputation. Sally made Thomas, the quarterback, tingle on a date. He asked her to perform oral sex and she did it. After school the following Monday, he called her under the bleachers so she could do six other players.”
“Did she do it?”
“Every last one of them! She stopped going out with Thomas. But because of her reputation, it wasn’t the last time she went behind the bleachers. I have overheard boys in the hallway say they are going to the Sally Bleachers after school. She might be over there now.”
“Awesome! Not with that many boys, but I would like to try it at least once.”
“Really? You would do it?”
“With the right person…. Don’t try to act shocked. You’ve probably already done it.” Annabel carefully unzips Ruth’s pants without resistance. “Let’s maintain the tingle. Tell me if you want me to stop anything.” Now wearing just undergarments, their hands become more active. “If my parents find us like this, I’m dead.”
“Then, lock the door and get back over here!”
Kissing becomes more passionate while continuing to massage each other. “Mmm! It can’t get much better than this.” Annabel then asks, “Would you tell anybody if I did something… kind of like what Sally did… you know… to… you…?”
“Pinky swear…, you can trust me….”
“I’m just thinking about it—don’t really know how…. Let’s keep this up….” Afterwards Annabel asks, “How did you become such a good… kisser?”
Catching her breath, Ruth replies, “Trust me, whatever you look forward to feeling, you are getting it now. I’ve kissed a few boys. But this is better than all of them!”
“Really? Thanks.You’re an excellent tutor. There is no way I could have figured this out by myself.”
Assessing all that’s transpired, Ruth asks, “Was it just a lesson? I mean, do you sill feel like we were practicing for boys… or really enjoying it as girls?”
“What interests me now is do you want to come over tomorrow after school?”
“I will definitely be here!”
“I will make a sign for the door that says, ‘Do not disturb tutoring.’ We can turn up the music in case someone comes home so they won’t hear us.”
Still during the first day, Ruth admits, “Annabel, I have really liked you for awhile. I didn’t know if the feelings were mutual or what to do about them so I took advantage of opportunities. That’s why I kissed you differently at the slumber parties. Do you think it’s a coincidence that we always paired up when it was time to go to sleep? It’s why I start long conversations with you in locker room showers. Did you ever admire my body like that in the showers?”
“I didn’t realize you were coming on to me. We were just close friends in my mind. Most girls are just trying to hurry and get to their next class. Most of the time it is crowded. I look at naked locker-room girls for different reasons.
“Since boys aren’t asking me out, all I think about body differences of girls with boyfriends. I wonder if boys are attracted to that size breast, those type of nipples, or that much hair down there.”
“If you saw me like that now, would you be thinking about boys?”
Ruth shows up on the second day. The two have a long talk about the choice they are making.
“The last thing I want to happen is that you feel regret and end our friendship. If we went too far yesterday, we need to think about how to stop and still be friends. We are doing a lot in secret without acknowledging what it means. This began as practice for you to be with a boy,” Ruth reminds. “Let me know if I am just a convenient substitute or if you have a boy in mind.”
“I no longer view you as substitute. Boys have no interest in me. No matter how low I button my blouse or how short my pants are, I dance by myself or with other girls—mostly you—at parties. But you have been with boys. Will I be depriving you?”
“Most boys are two extremes. They are either all talk with no experience or they knock you up and leave you. Do you to want to wait for that boy who may never come and risk pregnancy or get the same sensation with me?”
“Unless you’re having second thoughts, I want to keep feeling the way we did yesterday. Why wait for a boy if it’s the same sensation?”
The third time this couple gets together, they seriously face their new sexual orientation.
“We went all the way yesterday and seemed to enjoy it.” Ruth asks, “Are you comfortable being gay?”
“This happened so fast! I can only assume that we have been suppressing these feelings for a long time. My best friend—you—gave me the best feeling in my life. So I wanted you to feel the same joy. And like you said, we went all the way. I am comfortable with everything we did. If you are willing, I want to continue. So it looks like we are gay.”
“When we see nude girls in the locker room, will we act differently now?”
“I can’t say for sure. A realistic reaction is that I may enjoy viewing them but think of you. I hope no one else excites me. Perhaps you will be there with me at least the first time. How will you react?”
“As before, I may admire but think about you—if you are ready to be a couple. The best way to come out is as a couple. People can compartmentalize that better. We will be teased and must be prepared to fight if necessary. Which means we may get our butts whooped a few times. I will fight to protect you, even if I lose. Some will tease us.”
“The teasing is something we can ignore and you’re on the wrestling team. But if you’re not around, getting my butt spanked would not change my feelings for you. I wish someone would tease me about eating out. The answer makes me smile.“
“So we are willing to endure teasing and abuse. Are you willing to show up at dances together or kiss between classes? People will call us gay and lesbian.”
“Do I look like a lesbian. I always thought someone in the couple would have to cut her hair and act like a man. But can we be lesbians and still act feminine?”
“I don’t want to change anything except being closer friends. When we went all the way, we became lesbians. We might as well get used to hearing it.”
“Annabel, I am not ashamed to say I love you. There are something like two million students like us in the United States. [1,2] But it’s not just pleasuring each other that makes us gay. It is also the emotions we feel for one another. You must be able to say this to me—a girl. Do you love me, not just as a friend, but deeper?”
“I do love you, Ruth. I need to get used to saying I have a lesbian girlfriend. This is a big moment in a long friendship. I’m not ready to tell my parents. But I do love you and would not be embarrassed for others to know we are a couple.”
One day, three girls corner Annabel in the gym and ask her to pull down her pants. When she resists, two grab hold of her. Annabel begins screaming. Ruth comes to her aid and they fight off the attackers. Fortunately, that was their only incident of gay violence.
The couple joins an LGBTQ club for more support and protection. During their high school sophomore year, the relationship becomes public on campus, and continues throughout high school graduation. The yearbook pictures them with the heading, “Most likely to marry first.” By this time, their parents are aware of the relationship, but don’t speak about it.
Accepted to different colleges, Ruth and Annabel realize a long-distance relationship is impractical. After a few phone conversations, Ruth reveals that her dorm roommate is her new partner. It hurts to hear but she has been replaced but it something they both expected. Annabel begins casual private encounters with girls as a college freshman.
A girl asks Annabel if she wants to be part of a group-sex hookup on the weekend. Surprised by the invitation, Annabel asks, “What makes you think I would go?” The girl replies that more than a few people know about her. Annabel asks, “How many will be there?” The girl says there are only three so far. Without committing to it, Annabel says, “Text me the info and I’ll think about it.”
Later, a girl in the library slips Annabel a note that invites her to a dorm. When Annabel shows up, the girl performs cunnilingus. As Annabel prepares to reciprocate, the girl interrupts, “I would love it. But please tell me that you also have herpes. Annabel leaves stunned, realizing what would have happened if the girl hadn’t mentioned her condition. Now she hopes herpes was not transferred orally. Annabel is so shook up that she declines the prior invitation for group sex.
During the sophomore college year, Annabel focuses on studies without dating. As a junior, she accepts invitations to games and dances from boys. But they never get beyond the grandma peck. During her senior year, Annabel begins scouting for a serious relationship. Within the gay crowd, she explores various forms of intimacy. A girlfriend relationship lasts a few months before breakup.
While studying in the library, a popular athlete approaches Annabel’s study table to ask for directions to a particular classroom. All star-struck Annabel hears is “What’s the number?” She tears off a piece of paper and writes down her dorm and phone numbers and says, “That’s all my numbers.” Though puzzled when he looks at the paper, she echoes his word, “Tonight.”
In the jock’s car, passionate kissing gets out of control and leads to her first unprotected male intercourse. Afterwards, she asks if he has an STI. He tells her no. But there are no further dates after discovering that he has a girlfriend. For further humiliation, he boasts to other members of the team. They learn about how easy it is to sleep with Annabel anywhere—even in a car.
Several athletes proposition her with the promise of keeping her backseat romp secret. She fears becoming the campus ‘Sally’ who puts out in a futile attempt to save her reputation.
Throughout the rest of her senior year, she wards off advances and innuendos from guys getting her name and number from bathroom stalls. Social media describes her as a confused bisexual who is looking for love in all the wrong places. Annabel is happy to walk away with a diploma and leave her failed social life behind.
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