EPISODE 1 – YOUTHFUL ENLIGHTENMENTA young lady with a rare medical condition learns to overcome obstacles and face her colorful future in a new light.
A young lady with a rare medical condition learns to overcome obstacles and face her colorful future in a new light.
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Pink Childhood
TAMMY grew up with lace and tea parties. Her pink room was full of stuffed animals, and as she approached puberty, glamour magazines. She often turned her room into a magical kingdom where her stuffed animals were her loyal subjects, and she ruled with a whimsical touch.
But when her female peers’ bodies began to develop, Tammy felt a disparity. Questioning her mother led to a talk she could never imagine.
“Sit down, Tammy,” beginning the conversation with smiles as the two lean back together, wearing similar pajamas. “Your father and I love you very much and there’s nothing you can’t accomplish in life.”
“I love you too.” Tammy grasps a childhood doll while seated on her bed, responding nervously, “But shouldn’t I be wearing a training bra, by now?”
“In time, Sweetheart. You have a medical condition affecting one in 80,000 people. It’s called Swyer syndrome.”
“Do you mean Sawyer, like the boy in the bedtime story?”
“Not exactly. At birth, you had male and female organs. To reduce the chance of cancer, the male organs were removed.”
“Oh no!” Tammy shouts, dropping her doll, imagining herself as a ghoulish figure. “Am I going to grow a beard?”
“Now that you’re approaching puberty, doctors can give you hormones to develop female attributes like breasts and ovaries. Without the supplements, your male characteristics will remain dominant.”
“I’m confused. Are you telling me I’m a boy instead of a girl?”
“You have female genitalia. With supplements, you’ll experience menarche—that’s your first period—and can give birth to children with medical intervention. Most people with Swyer syndrome identify as women. Without the hormones, you’ll be an infertile man.”
The words “infertile man” instill fear in the innocent girl. “Are you asking me to choose a gender?”
“Would you rather someone else make the choice?”
“But I don’t have male parts. This is a lot to think about.”
“Take all the time you need. I love you no matter what.”
Blue Period
Tammy remains isolated for the entire weekend, refusing to join the family for dinner. She stares at her body in a full-length mirror. Then she reads everything she can find on the Internet about her condition. Distinguishing terms like bisexual, intersex, and dual scales of sexual orientation confuse her young mind.
Tammy sobs, fearing she might make a mistake in the biggest decision of her life. She imagines that doing nothing will increase ridicule from underdevelopment while taking hormones will transform her into a beautiful princess.
On Sunday evening, after her melodic music box tune ends, Tammy continues the discussion with her mother in the privacy of her bedroom.
“Mom, do periods hurt?”
“There can be some stomach cramping. The amount of pain differs. It’s every woman’s special journey, signaling the ability to have a baby.”
“I don’t look forward to periods. But I look forward to breasts, hips, and children.”
“I support your decision. Someday, you’ll make a man very happy. Are there any more questions?”
“Who else knows about my condition?” Tammy anxiously asks while fidgeting with her hair.
“Only your father and your doctor.”
“Wow, Dad knows and still treats me the same. Men have deeper voices because of larger Adam’s apples. Will the female hormones prevent that?”
“That’s a good question for your physician. When you get older, surgical larynx reduction is possible if necessary. Write down all your questions and I’ll schedule an appointment.”
Tammy adapts to her prescription regimen, develops feminine attributes, and perfects her cooking skills. Jewelry and stylish shoes camouflage her larger-than-normal hands and feet. She also learns to raise her voice an octave. The first time someone whistles at her while walking down a hallway makes her giddy with goosebumps.
At age 16, she begins dating boys. By age 18, Tammy is a flamboyant broad-shouldered statuesque woman. Her parents pay for her larynx reduction. When it heals, she faces the uncertainties of dating with the goal of marriage.
Lavender Adulthood
On a Swyer syndrome forum, Tammy corresponds with someone called Dana, who began hormone therapy at a later age. Their mutual curiosity about each other’s development leads to a meetup in a park on a sunny afternoon.
With playful laughter, Tammy tells her new friend, “This is fantastic. We’re like two paragraphs of a walking Wikipedia about Swyer syndrome.”
Dana who cuts her hair short and wears androgynous clothing, responds with a mischievous glint in her eye, “With earlier supplements, I might have looked as gorgeous as you. Maybe we should start our own beauty blog – The Symmetry of Swyer.”
“Thank you, though I’m not much of a blogger. What was the most difficult challenge for you growing up?”
“No doubt, showering with girls in gym classes without breasts even though I look like a female below the waist.”
“I went through the same embarrassment until the hormone supplements kicked in. When the curves finally arrived, the gym became my favorite class to show peers how much I developed.”
“Too bad I missed out on those views.” Dana’s head drops while displaying scars. “I’ve been physically abused for being different.”
“Wow. I’m so sorry to learn that,” Tammy responds with an embrace. “People can be so cruel.”
“Ooh. Hold your hand up to mine,” Dana suggests to lighten the mood. “Look at that. We both have bear paws.”
Tammy playfully punches Dana in the shoulder, saying, “Bears don’t have nails that look as good as mine.”
Seeking compassion and providing clarity, Dana says, I fall short of expectations for a dude or a gal.”
“That’s interesting. I’ve always had an interest in male companionship. I look forward to birthing a child.”
“I can respect that as long as we can still hang out.”
“Absolutely.” Tammy rationalizes, “You’re like my alter ego.”
“Hey, I could use a roommate to reduce expenses,” Dana suggests.
A little too eager, Tammy responds, “Ooh, great! Wait. Thanks, but maybe it’s too soon.”
Dana suggests they get some frozen yogurt because it turns frowns into smiles. Tammy is the only one who makes a spiraling frozen tower and piles on the toppings. While sitting at the table, Dana grabs a spoon and begins eating from Tammy’s cup, conveying an unexpected but welcomed closeness.
Despite different interests in mates, they nurture a fascination for each other due to their commonality. They attend movie premieres, dance at clubs, and dine at casual and fancy restaurants. Servers don’t know how to classify Dana but often assume Tammy is the girlfriend.
Taking note of this, Dana, hopeful of advancing beyond a platonic relationship, asks, “Does it embarrass you when people assume we’re a couple?”
“I usually smile without correcting them. What they think doesn’t bother me. However, it probably prevents guys from asking me out when we’re together, so I may need to fly solo sometimes.”
While examining her footprints in the sand, Tammy cannot foresee the full path to adventures and heartwarming discoveries that await her in a journey of exciting relationships and aspirations.
Continued…
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