Publish 18 November 2021
⚠️ Use Discretion: Mature subject matter.
An Anxious Ride
Shaking rice from your hair, you grasp each other’s hand while shuttling off to your honeymoon suite. Grinning from ear to ear, your hearts are racing. It is rare these days but this is your first night of real intimacy. Long-lasting impressions depend on how you rise and fall.
A virgin honeymoon does not need to be stressful. Two people in love will figure out how to pleasure one another. It’s instinctive. The human race would have died off long ago if intercourse was too difficult. What complicates matters is all the stories you heard, and perhaps the movies you watched.
Ready For Children?
It is likely too early to be thinking about vasectomy or tubal ligation, but the article includes an efficacy chart of different birth control methods. This will help you prepare ahead of time. No one wants to go wandering in search of a vending machine during the heat of the moment.
When it comes to intimacy, remember the road traveled is more important than the destination. In case you’re wondering, yes, by destination, I mean climax. Women relish the wining and dining; the soft lights, and music. She strokes her hair and models sexy lingerie. Enjoy the ride.
The variable appearance of genitals, genitalia, breasts, areolae, and nipples is vast. When first viewing your partner, expectations may not match. Recognize that of all the variations, this is yours to enjoy.
A young man’s singular goal is to fit his member within her orifice. But aim can be misguided when there are three openings within an inch or two of one another. Vigorous hygiene will minimize cross-contamination. With appropriate hip rotation, a woman can help guide the man into the proper location. But slow down. There are erogenous zones around and nowhere near the opening that benefit from stimulation.
The clitoris glans has a spongy shaft that stretches up to 5 inches inside a woman’s body. It contains nearly 8,000 nerve endings that spread sensation to 15,000 other nerves in the pelvis. This is far more nerve endings than a penis. Contrary to popular belief, the vaginal canal has virtually no sensation when compared to the clitoris.
Timing is Everything
A pre-menopausal woman’s vagina produces lubricant after sufficient arousal. This can take anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes. After which, she has another 10 to 15 minutes before her climax. (Some women have multiple orgasms within this timeframe.) The male duration to climax is often one third to one half that of a woman. It takes creativity to make up for the disparity.
Herein lies the value of foreplay. This is the intimate stimulation of each other prior to actual coition. Rhythmic copulation should begin about 5 minutes prior to a woman’s climax. The challenge for the man is preventing premature ejaculation.
“The big question under the sheets is this. Is anything off limits during honeymoon?” —Reader
It is all right for a woman to reach her destination first. This is because she can reach it multiple times within the male rejuvenation interval. (With more testosterone, the interval to replenish spermatozoa is about 20 minutes for a man through his twenties. Replenishment time between ejaculations progressively extends to an hour or more by age sixty.)
So play romantic music, slowly chew aphrodisiac foods, bury one another with passionate kisses, or watch the 1967 rom-com Barefoot in the Park. When it’s time to resume, let the man arrive at his destination last. Both will find satisfaction on the ride there without performance anxiety.
The Honeymoon is Over
When the literal honeymoon is over, a marriage couple can begin to enjoy life together without pretense. The woman no longer dines on salads at dinner dates to appear frugal. The two will see each other without the camouflage of makeup, hair extensions, and Spanx. Nightly clay masks come out along with the CPAP machines.
The ritual of shining a light on perfect versions of yourselves ends. Though the honeymoon after a wedding averages 7–9 days, a fictitious persona can extend for months or years. Depending on the identity of that personality, couple’s therapy may follow.
So after enjoying your honeymoon, get ready for the other shoe to drop. Day-to-day living will reveal unfamiliar aspects of each other’s lives. Don’t let this become a source of anxiety.
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