Romance

The Handicap Switch E2

Man seated in wheelchair

EPISODE 2 – POWERLESS

Jane endeavors to break down the crabby defense of her longtime heartthrob through his adversity.

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Another Golf Swing

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Heidi learned enough from Matthew to realize that the golf country club is the path to advancement. So she begins using her wiles to work her way up the ladder that her predecessor abandoned.

Jane must pick one of the many responses going through her head as a reason for visiting Matthew. But first, she must answer whether she is willing to pursue a relationship with an amputee.

However, her next question, forming the basis for that decision, comes off as extremely insensitive.

“I feel shallow for asking, but is there any paralysis, perhaps below the waist?”

Raising his leg, he replies, “You see that? I can still kick you out with my remaining foot. Why are you so irritating?”

“I'm sorry. You’re right. I do have ulterior motives. As crazy as it sounds, I’ve had a crush on you ever since I began working on your floor.”

“Really, you mean for the past few weeks?”

“No. Actually, it’s been three years.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“I greet you each morning with a cup of coffee.”

“Oh? I thought it was a company benefit. So, you’re the coffee girl?”

Not my job title. I was extending kindness.”

“So what’d you do, come to examine the damaged goods of unrequited love?”

“Something like that. But if I can be candid, you come across as a very self-centered person.”

“Wow! You come into my home to insult me? Perhaps that’s the reason I paid little attention to you.”

“No, I’m here to offer assistance in your rehabilitation, and you don’t seem to appreciate it any more than the daily coffee. I see now that this was a mistake, so perhaps I should go.”

Recovering from Bogey

“Wait! We got off on the wrong foot. If you’re here to help, I may be willing to change my attitude—a little.”

“That’s more like it. With what do you need the most help?”

“Do you want a list? How about getting from my bed to the wheelchair, using the bathroom, bathing, answering the door, and preparing meals.”

“Oh, that’s quite a list of perfectly understandable responses. If I had to pick the least awkward one, I could offer to prepare meals?”

“That’s fine for the days I only need to eat. But every day, I need a sort of caddie to help with everything mentioned, preferably from a live-in caregiver. I am waiting for a call from the agency.”

“Perhaps that depends on whether I need to carry you upstairs.”

“I normally sleep on the second floor, but I have a couple of guest rooms on the first floor with easier access.”

“Here’s what I’m thinking. If you have a spare room and don’t mind relinquishing all your privacy to the ‘coffee girl,’ I could provide caregiving until my sick days run out.”

“I can’t have you do that. What if you get sick? You’ll need those paid days off.”

“I’ve accumulated months worth of sick days and unused vacation days. It won’t cost me anything to help you.”

“Certainly, your time is valuable. I appreciate the offer. But it seems to come with strings attached. You know? The whole heartthrob thing?”

“There is that. But you know nothing about me, and the only thing I really know about you is your obsession with golfing.”

“True. It looks like I landed in a sand trap. Sorry if the metaphor is unfamiliar. I don’t expect to be golfing anymore.”

“Then this will be an opportunity to get acquainted. Perhaps we have nothing in common, or I’m just too plain for your taste.”

“You are obviously a caring person whom I promise to pay more attention to. Tell me more about yourself.”

“Well, I’m an only child who ended up in the city that offered me a position after college. So I’m miles away from family, and not too attractive to men.”

“Hey, don’t take swings at yourself.”

“I’m in my mid-twenties, feeling I was put on earth to become a mom.”

“If that’s your calling, I already have a mother.”

“Oh? Where is she in your hour of need?”

“That remark hurts worse than my stump. She and I are not on speaking terms. I ran away when I was 15, scraping by until I was able to get a few prosperous breaks. That’s why I was so driven to advance the corporate ladder with meaningful people in my peripheral vision.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Do you have aspirations of settling down with a family?”

“Honestly, I haven’t given it much thought. Of course, I like women, perhaps for the wrong reasons. But now, I’m uncertain if any of them would even accept damaged goods.”

“Are you comfortable talking about your accident?”

“No, I’m not ready for that yet.”

“That’s understandable. You know what? Break time’s over. What is the first thing I should help you with before starting dinner?”

“This is your real test. I need to use the restroom and within arm’s length of each other, it should become apparent that I need a sponge bath. Since I can’t yet immerse my leg in water, if you get me a washcloth, I can manage cleaning up myself.”

“I don’t mind helping you to the facilities. On the way, here’s something you need to think about. The faster you get over your shyness, the sooner I can begin providing meaningful assistance.”

She gives Matthew some privacy after propping him on the toilet and closing the bathroom door. When he’s done he asks for some clean underwear.

But she replies, “It seems you’ll need that sponge bath first. Who’s it gonna be, me or you?”

After a long pause, he responds, “Jane, can you please help me with a sponge bath?”

She finds clean underwear for him in his bedroom dresser before tapping on the bathroom door. “Are you decent?”

“Of course not,” he replies sarcastically, “Come in.”

She smiles upon entry and says, “This is not quite how I imagined my first time having this view, but I’m good with it. Let’s just focus on minimizing pain and getting you cleaned up.”

Washing up a grown man who hasn’t bathed in weeks doesn’t stir romantic feelings. Rather, it demonstrates humility on the part of the caregiver who may decide that she’s not up to the task.

Continued…

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